Avoiding Awkward Silences with Your Crush Using Principles from The Game

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Now that you’ve already managed to catch the attention of your dream girl, what should you do?

You can easily make an impression through chatting on Facebook, Instagram, or Viber. Whenever you’re hiding behind your mobile device’s screen and typing up that well thought-of reply, you can easily dodge awkward silences by giving excuses. But what if you start spending time with them? More specifically, what if you actually scored a date with that your dream girl?

Being on a date is going to be a whole new level compared to just thinking up chat pickups and replies. You’re going to have to avoid those nasty awkward silences and start becoming an epic conversationalist.

Worry not, this can be easily achieved with some principles from Neil Strauss’ The Game.


Release tension before entering the fray

It’s great that you’re showing enthusiasm on your coming date with that girl you’ve been going crazy about. But, you have to remember that being overly excited about going out with her can be more of a threat to your conversation than anything else.

By imagining and reimagining the time you’re going to spend with a girl, you’re actually setting yourself up for failure. Why is this? This is because you are imagining ideal situations come the time when you’re already with her. Having your own notions of a good time when hanging out with the girl of your dreams is going to pressure you into talking with a trembling voice. This is going to affect the quality of your conversation and will lead to those awkward silences.

So first, you need to relax and ease up those tensions on your shoulders. Then, prepare a good ice breaker topic –this will keep your thoughts secured, and your body language composed.


Show your confidence and smile

Assuming you’re not that alpha male Tom Cruise-looking kind of dude from Top Gun, then you really need to psychologically cultivate your self-confidence. To do this needs a bit of imagination.

Think of yourself as James Bond, or Jason Statham, or basically any badass character you look up to. Keep your posture upright. Research shows that the right body language boosts testosterone and will add to your confidence! In the book, Neil Strauss discusses that your looks and boring personality doesn’t matter as long as you do things correctly. That should be enough to keep you from shivering.

Now, there’s a fine line between balancing confidence and being too much of a wind bag. Don’t overdo it. You’re not 007 –yet.


Share things that will make you stand out

The reason why you’re in a first date is so that you can have fun with your crush. Wrong!

Although you can convince yourself all you want that everything should be natural, doing this might just result to you losing your crush’s interest forever. To avoid this, at least prepare some things that will show her that you’re not like the rest; that you’re special. There must be some interesting stuff you’ve read somewhere or a couple of magic tricks you’ve practiced – do a subtle approach of sharing it. If you cannot find any fun stuff you know, research beforehand. Be someone worth your crush’s OOTD and makeup.


Communicate beyond words – ride the IOI’s

You may be busy thinking about how to get away with your first intimate conversation with a girl you’re dating. You’re probably thinking about word choice or what topics to stick with. There’s one subtle way to navigate this tempest of a conversation though – these are called Indicators of Interests or IOIs.

An IOI is a body language monitoring that you can add to your arsenal. For example, when a girl is playing with her hair, or when she is laughing at things that are not funny, she is enjoying your company –that’s not a good time to talk about the Japan Tsunami or ISIS.


Do some teasing but don’t insult her

Before going into playful teasing, like commenting on how fake your crush’s hair looks like, you have to remember that you have to build up some degree of closeness between you and her.

If you pepper your conversation with teasing and some playful interactions, you’re helping yourself grow more comfortable with her.

Also, by teasing her, she’s going to be comfortable with you since she’s going to respond by slapping you on the arm or other sorts of body contact. This principle from the book is going to ensure that the girl is expected to give an immediate response which will lead to a smooth flowing conversation without those awkward stop gaps.


Keep cool when it seems she’s not interested

You and a whole lot of other men out there dread the time when a girl starts to show disinterest. This often leads to funny and awkward moments when both of you start sharing blank moments together with only the sound of crickets in the background.

Most people panic by pitching in some random topic like how great the weather is out there. But you have to keep your cool during these instances. By showing that you’re not panicking when she shows disinterest, you’re actually going to make her question herself.

She might think that there’s something wrong with her end and is going to actually reverse the situation. She’s going to try to seek for your approval from this point because you’re going to give her the impression that you’re hard to impress.


Do not overcomplicate your conversations

You might want to impress that girl you’re dating by preparing some awesome topics for your conversation. Most of the time, this isn’t going to be advisable at all.

You have to simplify your topics and be attune to what engages a girl into conversation. If you try to charm her into your vast collection of knowledge, you might just end up chasing her away. Also, this is going to put her in a position that she’s going to even get bored and leave all the talking to you. It is important that you keep your topics in your conversation simple and easy to relate to. Think about playing volleyball when talking to a girl but instead of making her miss what you throw at her, you want to keep the ball bouncing back and forth – making for an engaging conversation that’s free form awkward silences.


Take a few steps back from the conversation

Now that you have your crush’s attention, you might not have thought of this but it’s also important for you to show a little bit of disinterest.

Make her see from time to time that your attention is elsewhere. This is a great way to cover up those awkward silences when talking to a girl and at the same time making her want to impress you even more. Detach from your conversation and wait if she tries to connect back with you. This is going to even make you feel confident in talking to her – killing off the fear that comes from awkward silences. However, do this when you’ve already collected various IOI’s. You don’t want to further discourage conversation to an uninterested date right? After this, loop again to some fun topic.


By using these principles from Neil Strauss' 'The Game,' you should have confidence and be able to prepare yourself for that awesome date with your crush. Always remember to show something interesting, keep your talk light and fresh (both of you want a good time anyway), keep it within the bounds of her interests, and remember that silences and pauses have their own unique purposes.