The Ultimate Girlboss Tips from Daenerys Targaryen

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Game of Thrones' Daenerys Targaryen. She’s the ultimate girlboss, right? Who could imagine a young once-fragile girl conquering whole kingdoms, commanding the respect of armies, and outwitting political enemies?

Yes, she is that amazing – an accurate representation of the modern woman.

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Her rule over Essos is a manifestation of her proficiency in persuasion, aggressive risk-taking, and management – three very essential qualities of being a good leader. George R. R. Martin gave us a clear picture of this Targaryen heir’s inspiring journey from the bottom to being the queen of the Eastern lands. Her detailed experiences in the books definitely helped me see how it is like to be a girlboss.

Here’s what I learned:

01. Learn to be Meek and Persevere.

All odds were against Daenerys and her irate brother after Robert’s rebellion. The Baratheons, Lannisters, and Starks sacked King’s Landing from the Targaryens and this event turned Dany and her brother into exiles. It’s apparent from this circumstance alone that this young princess has been dealt a pretty bad hand early on in her childhood.

During the years of exile in Essos, this Targaryen was made to carry heavy burdens of sacrifice for her namesake. At a young age, she was made to face an arranged marriage to the rough and no-nonsense Khal Drogo, who commands a massive army. Realizing that this would help her regain the kingdom, she meekly accepted the situation; and in a positive turn of events, ended up actually falling in-love with the Khal.

This could have been the start of some favorable things for her, but unfortunately, Khal Drogo fell sick and died, leaving behind some rumored dragon eggs. Cursing the cruelty of the world and in total despair, Daenerys almost lost her sanity. But, she did not give up. Instead, she wiped her tears, chose to disregard her misfortunes, and continued on.

From here we can see a great example of meekness and perseverance. However, meekness and perseverance are the two traits where most people commonly fail – this is because the human mind is naturally wired to react against danger or discomfort. It cannot be emphasized, though, how much opportunities are being lost only because of a bad temper, or how many supposed victories ending up being spoiled and unattained because of people giving up too early. The secret to meekness and perseverance is having a strong sense of personal worth and an unwavering and fixed focus to a goal. You’re a girlboss. Keep in mind how awesome that is, how awesome you are –pretty much like how Daenerys always reminds herself that she is the Mother of Dragons. Condition your mind like this, and the temptation to retaliate becomes easier to resist. Couple this with an almost stubborn focus to a goal, and you’ll realize that misfortune will remain just on your periphery –blurred and bearable.

02. Play by your Strengths.

Dragons are one of the major highlights that sets Daenerys apart from other characters, and she knows that being someone who could tame these creatures solidified her claim to the iron throne. While it helps having these flying flamethrowers grill your enemies to ash, or make your most stubborn followers tremble upon your orders, in real life, it’s difficult to look for something that can serve as an equally awesome substitute.

However, it’s also important to remember that these dragons were as fragile as sheep during their infancy – not to mention, these are one of the most coveted things in the GoT world. They are only as good as how carefully the Targaryen queen has taken care of them. The lesson that we can learn from Daenerys right there is how to accurately recognize, maintain, and play by your strengths.

For example, if you’re good at handling people, you could focus more on the relationships side of your work, then delegate the more clerical side. If your expertise is at decision-making, then you could focus on the research side of your work so that you have a broader scope of finding the niches. If you’re good at work output, then you could focus on training your staff or making templates on the proper work methods. Like Daenerys, focus on whatever your strengths are, then use them as foundations for your team’s growth.

03. Look the Part.

Some may say that looks are just on the surface, but in reality, most people take visual impressions much more seriously. Daenerys, no matter the situation, never fails to exude class and majesty that is deserving of her birth-right. A good example of this would be her time in Mereen when she freed the slave city from the tyrannical rule of its masters. Whenever she would be in her throne room or at a public appearance, she wears an iconic queen Daenerys Targaryen costume and makes it a point to look extravagantly beautiful. This makes her stand out and earn the initial respect of strangers that are not familiar with her way of rule.

Your inner energy is most easily transmitted to the material world through the clothes you wear. If you’re in the office lounging around in your sexy night-out clothes, while it might not be true, this might cause the people under you to subliminally assume that you are not taking the job that seriously after all. So, if you want to be an effective girlboss, you have to be conscious about how you look. This will not only make you stunning (in an office-friendly way), but more importantly, this will exude your position of authority, much like how Danearys automatically exudes her queenly status wherever she goes.

These lessons that we can learn from Daenerys focus on acquiring and demonstrating true value as well as commanding respect. These will not only help you become an even more awesome girlboss; but more importantly, a tough woman who is aware of techniques to navigating her way through the problems of everyday life.


  1. Oh how I love this :) We can all learn from her best traits and apply them to our own lives .

  2. This is great! Such good traits to have!

  3. Great post! I don’t watch this show, great traits to learn from!

  4. Ok, I stinking love this post and I looooove Daenerys its hard to be the boss but she is a great example of sticking with it regardless of the odds stacked against you.